I always open my Bible and the new year by reading the gospel of John. I love discovering anew who Jesus is. John’s gospel is so personal. I can sense his love for Jesus in every chapter and verse…and clearly he was loved in return. All of the disciples had their place in Jesus’s ministry, but John is the only one referred to as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Granted, John is the writer, the one who gives himself that name, but what a name to have! And he doesn’t only do it once in his gospel. No, John reminds himself, and us, SIX times throughout the book of John that he is “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” That alone is enough to stop me in my tracks….because I am the girl that Jesus loves. Honestly, if I were to get nothing else out of my scripture reading and reflection for the day, that would be more than enough! Kelly Ann, the girl Jesus loves.
However, that beautiful truth was not the source of my reflection this morning. Instead, I felt compelled to pause in John 5, specifically alongside the pool of Bethesda with the paralytic man. I can imagine the setting-the beautiful architecture, the sheep gate nearby through which sheep were herded on their way to be sacrificed, the residual smells that thousands, probably hundreds of thousands, of sheep had left behind, possibly the sound of sheep as they were herded through the gate, the five porches (five covered alcoves) full of the sick and dying. The Bible describes a “great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed” (John 5:3). A great multitude. In my mind, I can hear the moans and cries of those sick and dying; I can smell the unbearable stench of unwashed bodies; I can see the overwhelming horror of all of that suffering. And there, in the midst of that multitude of human misery, one man takes center stage. The Bible describes that man as a paralytic “who had an infirmity thirty-eight years” (John 5:5). Thirty-eight years! I cannot even imagine that! I’ve suffered through my fair share of aches and pains and minor infirmities in my life (some of which have felt kind of major at times)….but thirty-eight year’s worth of suffering?? That’s a long time! Who knows how much of his life he had spent in that condition. Was he born that way? How did he end up beside that pool? Did he have no family to care for him? Was he homeless? Abandoned? What was his mental state? Had he given up hope? Had he just plain given up?
So here’s where the story gets even more interesting. There was the Sheep Gate, there were the multitudes of sick and dying, maybe there were the actual sheep themselves, there was the paralytic man…..and then there was Jesus. The Son of God Himself showed up, right there at the pool of Bethesda. Jesus witnessed firsthand all of the sights and sounds and smells I described as He walked beside that pool that day. And, as with all of Jesus’s other encounters recorded in scripture, nothing about that day was unexpected, nothing about it was unplanned. So what did He do? He stopped. Jesus stopped for one man. He stopped for the paralytic.
The Bible says, “When Jesus saw him [the paralytic] lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’” What? That’s what He asked? Why not ask, “Do you have faith that I can heal you?” Or “Do you believe?” But no, that paralytic man gets, “Do you want to be made well?” The answer to this seems to be kind of obvious, at least to me. I mean surely the man wants to be made well. But his response is interesting. Instead of shouting a resounding, “Yes I want to be made well!,” the man kind of hedges- an “others always get healed before me” response. At this point Jesus says to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” And the man does. Just like that.
So here are my thoughts as I reflect on that odd question- “Do you want to be made well?” Obviously Jesus had the ability to heal the man. That is not in question at all. What is in question is whether the paralytic actually wanted to be healed. Or had he instead become complacent in his infirmity? Had he stopped trying to move ahead? Had he stopped trying to get into the pool himself? Had he finally come to accept his infirmity as his lot in life? Was he forever settled into his own particular porch (alcove) with his own particular bed? Or was he willing to exchange all of that for the hope of something better, something different, something unknown? Clearly the story reveals that the paralytic did want something more; he did want to be made well. As a result, “the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked” (John 5: 9). So then what does this little vignette mean to me, beyond being a beautiful story that shows the compassion and power of my Savior? In what ways is Jesus asking me if I want to be made well? Do I want to be in the center of His will for my life? Do I want to go where He wants to send me? And what is He asking me to pick up and move? Because part of the paralytic’s instruction from the Lord was to take up his bed and walk…walk away from this place of comfort and routine and complacency…take your bed with you when you leave so you have nothing to come back to. Am I willing to pick up my comforts, my routines, my wants and desires, my “bed” and to move them where God wants me to place them? That is the biggest question of all- am I willing?
Lord, help me not to become comfortable in my “infirmity,” in my complacency, today. Help me not to cherish my routine more than You. Because, to be honest, I love routine. I don’t like to be disrupted and moved out of my comfort zone. You know these things about me because You made me. But You also know my tendency to make my routines and my comfort zone strongholds in my life. Strongholds that lead to complacency. So, in answer to Your question- Do you want to be made well?- YES. A resounding yes. Now, show me how. Show me how to be made well in every area of my life so that I can truly serve you in this new year. Show me how to take up my bed and put it down where you want it to be. Thank You.